Dear Rachael, aged 38
What an interesting idea this is writing a letter to you for ten years time. Do you still look at this blog of yours? Have you actually managed to gain more than 13 followers or is this space of yours on the Internet just a distant memory of days gone by? I expect you will be busy running Rachael's Kitchen and writing food columns and articles in your spare time, but it started here kid, it started here.
Is Rudy the cat still alive? Right now I'm still in the process of persuading H but I'm pretty sure that it's in the bag! I hope he was as much as a lap cat as you hoped he will be.
Mentioning H, are looking down at the emerald on your ring finger? I bet he chose a beautiful one and i expect by now it's joined by a simple band signifying your eternal commitment to him. Did you have a beautiful day filled with laughter, music, good food, prosecco and all the people you and H love? I bet you cried buckets and smiled until your face hurt.
Do you still tell him every day how much you love him? Because you really have picked a special one there, you still know that right? I hope you still appreciate him because he has really shown you what it is to love and what it is to have a happy and healthy relationship. I hope you have found the balance of independence and sharing your life with someone - you struggle with it a bit now! Appreciate him Rach, never take him for granted, always show him affection and hold him in the highest regard. And remember how you two are the special ones.
Does someone call you Mama? At the moment your not sure whether this is a possibility but who knows what the future will bring. I pray that all of the pain of the past does not stop you or stand in the way of all you can achieve with family life. How are the siblings? I hope your remember all the time how blessed you are to be a sister and to have them, your loyal team always by your side. Are your nieces and nephews as gorgeous as you expect them to be? I hope you are "cool auntie rah rah" and you have bought them drums to beat really loudly and annoy their Mums and Dads!
You are so full of hopes and dreams right now - I hope that you have fulfilled some of them but still have more to aspire to. I hope that you have become kinder and more patient. I hope you have finally managed to find the right shade of red lipstick. I hope that you are still a good friend and still nurture and nourish those you are around. I hope you have a huge table, around which all your loved ones sit and you bring out plate upon plate of homemade food. I hope your garden and vegetable patch is flourishing and your passport is full of stamps. I hope you have found the perfect pair of brown leather boots. I hope you have learnt to give yourself a break. I hope you have run a half marathon (now there's a thought)! I hope your life has not been too marred by the pain of loss. And if your life is nothing like the one you think it could be right now at 28, I hope that you know that that is okay, that its just fine because as long as you are happy and healthy, all the rest will have written itself.