So there's my quote "Now that you are gone, you are more present than ever". I love it because its true and it has a special place in my aching heart.
When someone comes in to your life, changes it, makes you different, makes you better, makes you stronger, makes you feel a passion that comes from a place so raw and primal, when that person decides to leave you're actually relieved because you know that its unsustainable, you know he was just a gift given to you temporarily so you could figure out who you are and what you want from life. But when he leaves suddenly you feel so empty, you miss him, ache for him, you miss just talking to him because with him you could be honest. And the worst thing is that you know he feels it too, that perhaps you got under his skin more than you'd ever thought. But there's a happiness from that sadness, from the knowledge that it was both of you having the feelings.
So now he is gone he is more present, it creeps up at night that ache. He's more present, but that's OK because it reminds you of who you are and the capacity you have to love someone so very much that you understand why he will be the love before the love of your life.